(Thank you again to everyone who's been reading and commenting.
Nigihayami Haruko–'Kio is about to get a big surprise...
Gemini1--PMK is fantastic, isn’t it?
Maria Cline---Actually Battousai is the personal ad stalker---of Saitou!
Shihali—The way I see it to the Shinsengumi of this fic the Battousai is like the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy--it's
a nice way to explain childish fantasies but he doesn't really exist. :-)
April-san--Thank you , thank you for the kind words and the laughs from your Team Spirits!
*waves the Oniwabanshu pom-poms!*
Eeevee–I hope you get to see those other PMK episodes. You'll love 'em--well maybe not #9 as it's pretty darn dull....
Souchan–Thank you, and I hope the laugh related falling off a chair incident is covered by the TimesDispatch liability
policy :-D Btw–I have a PMK romance type story tucked away in the RK section since they never responded to my request
for a PMK category–it's called Koi ni shishou nashi (There is no teacher for love)
Miss Behavin----I think Harada and his cohort Shinpachi are really growing on me...
Angrybee----I hope you get to see the other episodes of PMK–there are some really good ones.
Lynna—I'm sorry I confused you. The characters aren't behaving the way we're used to seeing them in RK but
then that's part of the fun (for me anyway ;D)
You know the disclaimer drill we don't own the shows or characters and can't profit from this--if we could we'd be in Japan
right now stalking the descendants of our favorite samurai.
And don’t forget to check out the companion piece overseen by Miss Behavin–The Meiji Journal and while you're
at it definitely look for Team Spirits by April-san. It's guaranteed to make you laugh like a fool. *waves big
foam Aoshi #1 finger*)
So finally---on with the show!
The Mibu Times/Dispatch
by
BarbaraSheridan & Miss Behavin
Vol. 6
From the Interim Editor-in-chief:
We at the Times/Dispatch hold fast to the high standards of reporting excellence begun by the late Yamanami Keisuke. We
are not lurid scandal mongers like some other publications in this town (which are clearly tools of the lying Choshu scum)
and though normally we would ignore whatever ridiculous fabrications they choose to spread we feel that it is in the best
interest of everyone that the truth be told in a completely objective manner.
Therefore we will examine, point by point, the tall tall tale that the other publication's guest commentator Mr. Yoh Sheeda
plastered across Kyoto only yesterday.
1. Police were summoned to the backroom of the Midnight Teahouse (the Shimabara one not the dull one across town) when
a riot broke out between warring factions of That Pack of Rabid Wolves from Mibu. Though they like to think of themselves
as Kyoto's premier peace keeping force, This reporter has seen the women who "work" that particular teahouse and it
is quite evident what sort of "Piece" those Shinsengumi hentai were trying to get.
Times/Dispatch:
While it is true that several of our members were at the aforementioned teahouse last Friday we assure you that they
were off-duty. As far as a "riot between warring factions". Preposterous!! True, some of those attending the bachelor
party in that room were former members of our organization but they have no current connection to us whatsoever--especially
the guest of honor Saitou Hajime.
2. One Okita Souji, a captain with the bloodthirsty wolves lived up to his description when he attempted to maim
and kill a number of his former comrades who were doing nothing more than amusing themselves with a song when the party's
official entertainment disappeared with the guest of honor.
Times-Dispatch:
Captain Okita is one of the Shinsengumi's most respected members and we strongly object to him being referred to
as a bloodthirsty wolf. Futhermore he did not purposely attack those scoundrels who caused the unfortunate accident by their
callous taunting over the recent loss of Captain Okita's beloved pet Buttons.
Captain Okita meant no harm when he drew his katana and wakazashi to slice the cake that was brought in around the same
time as those men began to sing "Bye bye Buttons...so sorry to see you hacked....Bye Bye Buttons we'll scrape you up and put
you in a sack." It was not Captain Okita's fault when his hand slipped and a few of the men were nicked. Admittedly, some
of the cuts were severe and there was some loss of limb and a few unnecessary appendages, but I can assure you that Captain
Okita is a fine honorable young man and that he would never willingly harm another human being.
3. Several members of the "Elite Shinsengumi" were found in various and sundry lewd positions hardy befitting
the "Protectors of Kyoto". I believe these were Captains of the second and tenth squads and another who was of the
eight squad until he had the good sense to get out.
Times-Dispatch:
This is yet another of Mr. Yoh Sheeda's fabrications. There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that two of our finest
unit Captains were found in a darkened corner with one of their former colleagues "doing it for old times' sake." I have absolutely
no idea what Mr. Yoh Sheeda is talking about and neither do Captains Harada or Nagakura. As for former Captain Toudou
Heisuke I cannot comment at all.
4 These so-called Protectors of Kyoto are clearly not protectors of the Emperor, If they were, would they
have "replaced" him as they tried to do Friday night?
Times-Dispatch:
Surely this is the Most Ludicrous of all his accusations!!! For Mr. Yoh Sheeda's information Vice Chief Hijikata and the
Diamyo of Aizu were nowhere near the Midnight Teahouse and if they were surely they would not have become so drunk that they
stripped completely naked and dubbed Capt. Okita's pet pig Saizou the new "Emperor". Nor would they have placed him on
a make‑shift "throne" and proceeded to parade him through the teahouse and up tp the roof for him to overlook his glorious
capital. That must have been some other group of drunken revelers. Mr. Yoh Sheeda heard about.
As for the rumors that FORMER Capt. Saito was found the next morning in a series of VERY compromising positions with the
night's entertainment one Krazy 'Kio, well he is no longer with this organization and so I can make no comment.
I will not even do justice to any more of Mr. Yoh Sheeda's ridiculous accusations. I will simply let our record and the
ongoing support of the Daimyo of Aizu stand on its own merit.
-----Kondou
# # # # # # #
Official Notice:
There are to be no more off-base parties allowed not even if the room has been booked with a non-refundable deposit.
And should any type of celebration be allowed within the compound absolutely no one not currently a member of this organization
shall be granted admittance.
-----Hijikata
# # # # # # #
Dear Ayu-nee:
Please help me. I am so depressed about the recent death of my closest and furriest friend who was so much more than a
pet as some stupid people seem to think. I can hardly stand it. What can I do? Where can I turn?
--------Not sitting pretty without my kitty
Dear Kitty:
You might try searching for a local grief management group and if none are available you might try getting another pet.
# # # # # # # #
Local News:
The orphaned young boy found by Shinsengumi Captain Okita Souji wander the streets of Kyoto some months back incoherently
muttering "Nee-san, Nee-san" and clutching a purple umbrella has been given over to the custody of a merchant family from
Shanghai. We wish the lad well.
# # # # # # # #
Late breaking news:
Former Shinsengumi Military Advisor Itou was found apparently killed by a person or persons unknown. The investigation
has been put on hold for lack of evidence.
Notice:
We would like to welcome back to the fold Captain of the 3rd squad Saitou Hajime. It seems that the good captain's resignation
was a misunderstanding due in part to the nervousness surrounding his upcoming wedding.
Captain Saitou will return to his duties next week following a short leave while he travels to Aizu to meet his future
bride and her family.
# # # # # # # #
Personal Ad:
Mr. Shishio, we accidentally misplaced your resume, we are much interested in interviewing you again for that position
advertised recently. Please contact us VIA LETTER--not with notes affixed to any corpses.
Kuobo & Satkura
# # # # # # # #
